I can remember times from when I was growing up when my mother was quite emotional because my brother or I had reached a milestone in our lives–during the month before my brother went to college, she was a particular basketcase (wink wink, I jest, Ma). Deep down I knew I’d have my own weepy meltdowns after becoming a parent. I just had no idea that I’d have one over Bug’s first birthday.
Next month, Buggy turns a full year old. And I absolutely cannot believe it. This past year has been the fastest of my life. It was pretty exciting with buying a house and having a baby, not to mention how watching him change every week has made life interesting. In honor of the big ONE, we’re having a cookout to celebrate the little mister. A year ago I wouldn’t have thought to do many decorations or a theme or anything particularly special–he’s only turning one after all; he won’t remember it. However, with Pinterest and a million adorable ideas at my finger tips, I’ve decided to channel my inner-craftsy into making his birthday super sweet with lots of DIY specials (we’re doing a Bug themed cookout–how appropriate, right? wink).
My husband and I had planned to do some supply shopping this past Saturday so that I could get crafting. I’ve been pretty stoked to be creating (and sewing!) again so I was very surprised when I woke up feeling incredibly grouchy this weekend. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was making me so irritable (Jesse hadn’t made me mad the night before. Again, wink wink, I jest). Midmorning as we were prepping for our shopping excursion I finally identified what was making me so sad and I collapsed into Jesse’s arms crying. I couldn’t cope with my high intensity emotions over my cutie-cute turning one year old. Bug will no longer be a “baby.” We’ll start weaning soon. He is turning into a real little boy.
There is something that happens to a person when he/she becomes a parent. You cry about silly little milestones. You heart breaks a thousand times over when you hear about someone losing her baby or of a sick child. Your stomach gets knotted if your child scrapes his toe, even though that pain is insignificant compared to what others are feeling. You become an emotional wreck.
I think I would have been emotional no matter what over Bug’s first birthday, but my emotional weeping has been exacerbated recently because a girl from my hometown recently lost her four-month old sweetie. My heart breaks continually for her and her family when his sweet face crosses my mind and I ask you to remember the family in your thoughts and prayers. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have my beautiful little fellow sitting in my lap, happily nursing as I write; to be able to watch him turn one year old. I am truly blessed.
…I have to work to keep my emotions in check sometimes but I’ve been distracting myself by starting on his party decorations. I’ve never been so excited to use the sewing machine! I’m going to enjoy this next month with my infant son–next month he’ll be considered a child! And I’m going to get pumped up that he is reaching such a tremendous milestone in his sweet little life.